[Indeed, even after several surprise attacks of despair, Bobby still hasn't breathed a word about it to anyone. Not even to Edea. The reason for that is twofold. One, using the amulets for telepathy isn't illegal. In fact, it's one of their functions. Until some kind of law comes to pass that you can't use them for emotional harassment, bringing it to the attention of the Enforcers is virtually pointless. The second reason, which is one that's far more prevalent in his mind, is that admitting this is getting to him means admitting his weaknesses. If it gets out that transmitting emotions through the amulets can affect him so badly, anyone could do it. ...Even Edea. He doesn't trust her not to try and send him joy or hope or whatever other worthless feeling she might think he needs.
No one else has come to complain to the Enforcers that Junko is doing this sort of thing to them, so it seems like she's just picking on him for some reason. Not knowing when it might hit is the worst. He would never admit to being paranoid, or even being on edge, but he would say that it's inconvenient. It is truly inconvenient. He'd remove his amulet, but with his position, he can't afford to do that for too long. If there's some kind of emergency, people need to be able to reach him. Damage to his near surroundings has been extensive, so he's lucky that she usually targets him when he's at home or at his office. At one point during a particularly hefty attack, he'd fallen to the ground and bitten down on his knuckles to stop himself from screaming. He'd bitten down so hard that it'd drawn blood. That'd just made it worse. Even so, it'd passed. It always passes.
Still, today's little 'delivery' is worse than any other before it. He'd just been folding his laundry when it hits. His breath catches in the back of his throat and he instantly drops what he was holding. This feeling...! The despair of being cornered. The despair of being judged by people who just don't get it. The despair of knowing you're going to die. Much as he wishes for it to pass, it doesn't. It just increases in strength, hitting him again and again. It combines itself with something else- Fear. Fear and anger. He's angry at Junko for being such a horrible bitch and he's angry at himself for allowing himself to be angry.
It's too much.
He can't see. He can't breathe. His chest feels like it might just cave in on itself. He's lying on the ground before he's even realized he's fallen, but the world is still spinning. All he can really do is curl in on himself, grasping at his head with both hands. And then there's the environmental effects, of course. Deep cracks shoot up the walls of his bedroom and several things catch fire. Others explode or shatter. All the light in the room is gone despite the flames. It's like being caught in his own personal hell.
This time, he can't stop himself from screaming. He's screaming despite the lack of oxygen, just because letting it all out might relieve some of the pain his chest. This needs to stop- It has to stop! Those are the only thoughts still running through his mind with such force that the amulet can't possibly miss them.]
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timeasmymeasure
[Feelings and such] | 18th is good!
Date: 2015-07-18 08:31 am (UTC)No one else has come to complain to the Enforcers that Junko is doing this sort of thing to them, so it seems like she's just picking on him for some reason. Not knowing when it might hit is the worst. He would never admit to being paranoid, or even being on edge, but he would say that it's inconvenient. It is truly inconvenient. He'd remove his amulet, but with his position, he can't afford to do that for too long. If there's some kind of emergency, people need to be able to reach him. Damage to his near surroundings has been extensive, so he's lucky that she usually targets him when he's at home or at his office. At one point during a particularly hefty attack, he'd fallen to the ground and bitten down on his knuckles to stop himself from screaming. He'd bitten down so hard that it'd drawn blood. That'd just made it worse. Even so, it'd passed. It always passes.
Still, today's little 'delivery' is worse than any other before it. He'd just been folding his laundry when it hits. His breath catches in the back of his throat and he instantly drops what he was holding. This feeling...! The despair of being cornered. The despair of being judged by people who just don't get it. The despair of knowing you're going to die. Much as he wishes for it to pass, it doesn't. It just increases in strength, hitting him again and again. It combines itself with something else- Fear. Fear and anger. He's angry at Junko for being such a horrible bitch and he's angry at himself for allowing himself to be angry.
It's too much.
He can't see. He can't breathe. His chest feels like it might just cave in on itself. He's lying on the ground before he's even realized he's fallen, but the world is still spinning. All he can really do is curl in on himself, grasping at his head with both hands. And then there's the environmental effects, of course. Deep cracks shoot up the walls of his bedroom and several things catch fire. Others explode or shatter. All the light in the room is gone despite the flames. It's like being caught in his own personal hell.
This time, he can't stop himself from screaming. He's screaming despite the lack of oxygen, just because letting it all out might relieve some of the pain his chest. This needs to stop- It has to stop! Those are the only thoughts still running through his mind with such force that the amulet can't possibly miss them.]
STOP IT!!! JUST STOP IT!!!