Detective Bobby Fulbright (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spiritofjustice) wrote2015-01-17 12:57 am
spiritofjustice) wrote2015-01-17 12:57 am
Entry tags:
Telepathic IC 'Inbox' and Messenger Bird Reception (Empatheias)
[Catch-all post for one-on-one messages that need to be delivered directly to Bobby, either through the amulets or with a messenger bird.]
[Feelings and such] | 18th is good!
No one else has come to complain to the Enforcers that Junko is doing this sort of thing to them, so it seems like she's just picking on him for some reason. Not knowing when it might hit is the worst. He would never admit to being paranoid, or even being on edge, but he would say that it's inconvenient. It is truly inconvenient. He'd remove his amulet, but with his position, he can't afford to do that for too long. If there's some kind of emergency, people need to be able to reach him. Damage to his near surroundings has been extensive, so he's lucky that she usually targets him when he's at home or at his office. At one point during a particularly hefty attack, he'd fallen to the ground and bitten down on his knuckles to stop himself from screaming. He'd bitten down so hard that it'd drawn blood. That'd just made it worse. Even so, it'd passed. It always passes.
Still, today's little 'delivery' is worse than any other before it. He'd just been folding his laundry when it hits. His breath catches in the back of his throat and he instantly drops what he was holding. This feeling...! The despair of being cornered. The despair of being judged by people who just don't get it. The despair of knowing you're going to die. Much as he wishes for it to pass, it doesn't. It just increases in strength, hitting him again and again. It combines itself with something else- Fear. Fear and anger. He's angry at Junko for being such a horrible bitch and he's angry at himself for allowing himself to be angry.
It's too much.
He can't see. He can't breathe. His chest feels like it might just cave in on itself. He's lying on the ground before he's even realized he's fallen, but the world is still spinning. All he can really do is curl in on himself, grasping at his head with both hands. And then there's the environmental effects, of course. Deep cracks shoot up the walls of his bedroom and several things catch fire. Others explode or shatter. All the light in the room is gone despite the flames. It's like being caught in his own personal hell.
This time, he can't stop himself from screaming. He's screaming despite the lack of oxygen, just because letting it all out might relieve some of the pain his chest. This needs to stop- It has to stop! Those are the only thoughts still running through his mind with such force that the amulet can't possibly miss them.]
STOP IT!!! JUST STOP IT!!!
[text]
[Oh hey, Fulbright, you got an actual response from your emotional tormentor.]
Why would you ever want it to stop? If anything I'd think you'd be grateful. After all, this is what you're missing out on.
[Sure, the emoticons were a bit overdone, but hey, he's the one who started it.]
[Voice]
.......Oh no. It pisses him off. Now that he's lost control and his mind's being invaded by emotions, even the most insignificant thing is enough to trigger something. It's not supposed to be like this. He's supposed to be above this. Why can't his psyche just go back to the way it used to be?! And now he's experiencing despair over all this, which means he's playing right into Junko's hands. The Phantom would've killed her after that very first despair attack if she'd just stay dead.]
Shut up! You don't know what you're messing with!
[That's saying- no, thinking too much, isn't it? Stupid telepathy!]
[Voice]
[There's voice now, not out of a conscious change, but because that wasn't really what she was expecting to hear. And besides, this is easier.
And the reason she sticks to text is because when he met mystery despair girl, it was via text. And despite the um...public shaming, he presumably hasn't brought up that it was her. So in a way, it's almost become a sort of game. So there's the answer. Cause it's a game!
And I will stop referencing that line I swear]What is it I don't know? That you're hiding your apathy from the world and your friends? Pretending to care, despite feeling nothing, and having little more effect on the world than a piece of driftwood does on the sea it floats on?
[A slightly pretentious comparison, but she thinks it works.]
Or is that I don't know that you haven't told anyone about our little exchanges? Surely, if you had, we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? And your hopeful friend would've already found some way to deal with me, eager to claim victory in her so called game.
[Yeah, Fulbright, you might want to talk to your fellow Enforcers about not playing games with the world destroying despair girl here. And when she speaks again, she doesn't sound like she's picking apart any perceived lack of knowledge on her part. In fact, she's using that fake adorable voice that he might've heard from her talks with Lu Meng or from Edea.]
Or is it that I don't know that there's more to you than meets the eye? Huh? Is that it? I mean I really have no idea, but if you're hiding something like your feelings, it'd be easy to hide something else right! I mean I did it, so you can too, right? So what is it? Can you turn into a car or a plane? Or maybe you combine with other people into a giant robot? Or maybe...
[Blunt and straight to the point.]
It's your true self. Is that what I don't know?
[Voice]
The last words hit him like a ton of bricks, though. His true self... Now that the proverbial flood gates have opened, that term triggers several emotions all at once. More despair, anger, fear and... Grief? Some old, worn memory dawns on him. Something that Prosecutor Blackquill had uttered in the ruins of Courtroom no. 4.
"What must you see when you look in a mirror, Mr. Phantom? Not an awful lot, I'd wager."
That miserable asshole had him pegged right then and there, even if the Phantom hadn't thought much of it at the time. It's ironic. Someone like Simon Blackquill, who'd spent over seven years just a few steps too far behind, had known exactly what he was he was chasing.]
HEE HEE HEE HEE! HOO HOO HOO! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[He doesn't even know why he's laughing. Maybe it's genuine amusement. Maybe it's his subconsciousness deflecting from the grief. Maybe this is what true, deeply rooted desperation feels like. His hands move from his aching chest to his face, cradling it. His next words will sound a little odd. While it's undoubtedly still Bobby Fulbright, the tone of it is off and it's hampered by something similar to static.]
You should- mind your own business-, Miss Enoshima. There's no injustice- quite like prying- into other people's affairs.
[Voice]
Look, she's honestly in despair over being proven right. It's just so completely hopeless and boring when everything goes her way, it really is. But on some other level she's wondering what the hell this even is, because this sure doesn't seem like her or like...whatsherface back home.
And it's not that she's scared, after all, her stance is that without hope, fear can't exist (though her feelings during the PAS thing sure say otherwise), it's just that, well, she thought he was interesting before she figured out he could create this weird feedback thing. And then finding out about that just made him more interesting! And now he's even more interesting! Will wonders never cease?]
I know. I know, it's a terrible habit, but I just can't help myself, y'know? It's so hopeless, I find something that interests me, and I've just got to know everything about them. What makes them tick, what they're hiding, all that. I'm honestly surprised no one's accused me of harassment or anything like that because I just can't stay away, y'know?
[Don't mind her, just making light of the fact that she has clearly crossed a line and has apparently learned nothing from it.]
[Voice]
[Alright, that's a slightly more normal laugh. One that he's actually uttering out loud, instead of just telepathically, which is why it might sound hoarse and wheezy. Considering the situation he's in, wasting oxygen on that is probably not the best idea, but all inhibitions seem to be burning just as fiercely as whatever else it is that's on fire.
People who try to find out what the Phantom is hiding usually end up dead. If only there was a way to make it permanent here... He'll be looking into that.]
I can't say- that I'm flattered. [For several reasons.] The only thing- that makes me- tick is justice.
[Once his mind stops racing, his 'voice' will go back to normal. ...Probably. Alas, right now, he's having a hard time keeping his act together.]
[Voice]
[Don't mind her, just chipping away at his argument.]
But I don't think that's it! Nope! I think there's something else! But it's okay! Because while I figure out what that is, I'll be more than happy to help you feel the way you should about this horrible injustice! Yup!
[In other words, she'll help him despair.]
Because...you need my help. And I think we're friends, and friends help each other right? Even if they don't necessarily want that help. Really, it's all so pointless.
[Voice]
Outraged at the injustice of it all? Please. It's clear that they both know such a thing won't happen. Not as long as he can help it. That doesn't mean he's going to accept the injustice either. For now, he's going to move himself back into a sitting position. His body is shaking like a leaf and he still can't see a thing through the pitch-black darkness that his emotions have created, but that's fine.]
I have no reason- to be worried. Justice- always has a way of catching up with villains like you. That's why- it's one of the strongest forces in the world.
[He starts rolling up his sleeve to get to his amulet. This conversation is far too taxing and the longer it drags on, the more painful it'll get for him. It's all spiraling out of control.]
You'll get your just reward soon enough, Miss Enoshima.
[Voice]
I will? I will? I will? Because I sure hope so! I mean you can't just say something like that and not follow through. That'd leave me in such despair that I can't...I can't even begin to imagine how despairing that would be, so you have to do something! After all, that's your duty right?
[Actually she can, but that's not really the issue here. The issue's that well, if nothing happens, she despairs, and if something happens, then she also despairs. But she sure thinks that if she's pushed him far enough to do something, then that would cause the most despair, wouldn't it?]
[Voice]
My duty- is to protect people, not punish them. That's up to the court system. Good day, Miss Enoshima.
[With that, he rips his amulet from his arm, drops it on the floor and waits. He waits for the turmoil to die down, both inside his head and around him. The trouble is, it doesn't. While the place eventually brightens up again, revealing just how much property damage has been caused, the fires don't quite die down. The cold doesn't quite disappear. The pain in his chest and in his head won't quite dissipate.
He's still in despair. It just won't leave him, and the fact that it won't leave him is exactly what keeps causing him to experience more despair. A vicious cycle, just as it always is when it comes to his emotions.
He waits and he waits until he can't stand it anymore. That's when he crawls over to his bed, ripping up one of the floorboards beneath it. Below it is a small, secret trove of treasure. Assorted notes on various information he's gathered over the past nine months (it's only due to a bit of reflex that he even bothered, because none of this is particularly secret), as well as little bits of 'evidence' that he's snatched up here and there. A piece of marble from the statue of Sosyne's shrine in Inoman, some shards of armor from the world's surface and one more thing.
Toxin from the Exterobus Apathes parasite.
He pocketed it when he was in Kimishima's clinic a few weeks ago. The Phantom, that is, not Bobby Fulbright. Bobby would never steal. Bobby would never think to use this stuff as a defense against Junko, either. After all, it'd been made perfectly clear that PAS can no longer affect her. That doesn't matter. There's more ways to put this stuff to good use. It's dangerous- the cause of a lethal illness, but right now he doesn't care anymore. All common sense has been foregone. A microscopic hit is all he needs. Just enough to get his psyche back in order. Just enough to vanquish those pesky emotions.
Once he's built up enough apathy to have it become a line of defense against Junko's despair, that's when the Phantom will find a way to deal with her.]